Contribute Now to Whisky and Wine against NASCAR!

by Gabe Hayes-Williams

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This is basically a pitch for cash. The two donation options contribute to identical ends but with slightly different approaches. I know a number of you have maxed out in donations to the Obama campaign, so I’m hawking a more aggressive option (headed by the dogged and aggrieved Mr. Kerry) to make sure we stay on the offense. In that spirit, I pitch as follows:

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Headed by the dogged and aggrieved Mr. Kerry, Campaign For Our Country is, part of the effort to aggressively counter the Republican smear machine. In the final weeks of the campaign we must redouble our efforts to avoid the unfortunate outcome of 2004.

My friends, you know who you are: the clever, educated, artistic, bright and shining lights of a society on the brink. I am inviting you to do your part to advance our cause against the stupidity and assorted bigotries which threaten the utter ruin of our already-diminished nation. To avoid this unhappy end, we will be donating often and congratulating ourselves by having a few get-togethers to drink and talk trash about those dull, superstitious Republicans. Don’t bother saving money for abortions or books; should we fail, our enemies (yeah, that’s who they are) would keep us drooling in their pews and making babies to feed their depraved appetite for war. That should put the fear of God into you.

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Barack Obama is, I understand, somewhat less partisan than myself, more widely read, and better equipped to lead America than anyone else.



Image of Campaign For Our Country

Campaign For Our Country

Image of Barack Obama

Barack Obama

President

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